Back In The Saddle Again.

Sunday, May 4th.  Two short weeks after the Boston Marathon. The day that I took the reins back and got back on that horse.  That full marathon horse that is. Neigh!

I was beating myself up ( figuratively of course as I didn't want to get charged with assault and battery on myself- how embarrassing would that have been?) in the days after Boston. In hindsight, I knew what went wrong and what I needed to do if I were to try another marathon. 

It was the Thursday after the Boston Marathon when I woke up and entered the second phase of the grieving process.  The "stop feeling sorry for yourself man and do something about it" phase.  The "get back in the saddle and ride this puppy like there is no tomorrow" phase. I wanted to run another marathon so that I could finish and have closure to the emotional scar that I inflicted on myself. I was in shape from the months of training and didn't want it to all go to waste. I knew the Cox Marathon in Providence, RI was fast approaching so I checked to see if registration was still open.  Hoping that it was but figured it would be closed due to the proximity of the date of the race. Luck would have it. The registration was still open. I talked it over with my wife and son and got their blessing (thank you Jen and Simon very much for supporting me in that decision).  I signed up that night. 

Race day. It started out rather on the cool side but then became warm very quickly.  The sun was out in all its blazing glory. It reminded me very much of that morning on April 21st. It didn't matter because I had a new game plan and was going to stick with it this time. There was a very different vibe for this race. I was much more relaxed and focused. 

The national anthem was sung.  A stirring pre-recorded version by Beyoncé. Well, maybe not stirring but it did invoke a lot of emotions. The pop of the runner's pistol.  I took off out of the gate, sorry coral, like a thoroughbred chasing victory. 

The course wound it's way through downtown, neighborhoods, semi-industrial areas, along the Ocean and down a rail trail. It even featured a "heartbreak hill" (elevation is the same) which had to be completed twice as it was an out and back course.  There was a lot of great spectator support along the way to give cheer and provide needed breaks from the task at hand. A special thanks to the couple blaring the Rocky theme at the end of their driveway out in the middle of nowhere!  

This race turned out to be much more of a mentally challenging race than a physical one. I found myself second guessing every single thing that I was doing. Every decision went before a judge and jury. Afraid that I was going to make that one mistake that would keep me from finishing again.  There were two points in the race that I let my head momentarily get the best of me. However, I knew that I had to make that short lived and dug deep to regain my composure and focus. That second time was not an easy task at all but I knew that I could, make that "had to", do it.

I finished the race in 4 hours 30 minutes. Did I want a faster time?  Absolutely. But in the end what was more important to me?  Finishing.  I had nothing to prove to anyone else except myself. I didn't have to try and best anyone else's time.  No PR to achieve.  This was my race to complete. Complete and bring closure.  Neigh, neigh. 

Until next time, keep on runnin'!