Heartbreak Before The Hill.

Well the marathon is over and here it is two days after and I'm finally posting about my experience.  It has taken me a couple of days to come to terms with Monday and to compose myself enough to make this post.  Here it goes.  My run unfortunately ended at mile 18.3 due to a medical issue that had me in the hospital instead of finishing the race.  I pushed myself too much and didn't factor in the heat during the run (I was on pace to finish with a 3:43 finish which would have beat my marathon that I ran in October of 2013).  All of my training was run during the frigid cold temperatures of the winter so I was still in that mindset (my last long run a couple of weeks ago was 22 fantastic miles).  I've second guessed myself on every aspect of my choices on Monday.  I know that there are things that I could have done differently and that I should have done differently.  However, I cannot change the past now but just learn from it.

I have had a difficult time emotionally dealing with this even with the tremendous support of friends and family.  It is hard to focus on the positive messages when I feel that I've let people down including myself.  I'm being hard on myself about it all because I know that I should have stuck to my plan and had the outcome that I had thought about so many times.  I've reflected so much that it makes my head hurt.  It is now time for me to move on.

While I didn't finish, which was my own goal and something that I wanted to prove to myself, I did raise $6,716.40 for the Curley K-8 School.  I have to remember that my main goal and purpose for all of this was to raise money for this worthwhile cause.  Not to prove something to myself as paces and PRs really don't matter to anyone else except for me personally.  I have learned a lot about where my focus should be and what is important in my life.  That is my family.  I've also learned a lot about myself and where I can and need to improve.  This has been such an experience.  All the highs.  All the lows.  This journey has ended but a new one will follow behind it. 

Until next time, keep on runnin'!